I will no longer be updating this blog.  Please check out my new site on xanga.

 

 

 

 

Well, if you haven’t guessed by now this article is about my apartment.  If you look at the picture on the website my apartment is the window on the bottom floor right next to where the fire started.  That is actually JJ’s room.  We have lost at least 50% of our possessions in the fire.  Who knew that water and smoke damage could be so bad.  They used 3,000 gallons of water to put out the fire that works out to be approximately 500 gallons per an apartment.  But, since we are on a bottom floor add the 500 gallons used above to ours as it all wound up there eventually.  People keep asking me how we are and honestly I don’t know how to answer them.  What do you say?  Do you say what you are actually thinking or do you put on a brave front?  Me personally I have tried to put on a brave front.  I think this wouldn’t be so hard if I didn’t have JJ.  Have you ever tried to explain something like this to a 3 year old?  Trust me it isn’t easy in the least! 

 

They at told us on Thursday (the day of the fire) that it would be 4-6 weeks before we could be back in the apartment.  I was thinking okay this isn’t bad.  Well, Friday I had taken Stephen back to the apartment so he could try to go through some items and I went to the doctor because I had tweaked my ankle as well as gotten an ear infection.  I am sitting in the waiting area and Stephen calls.  They are going to have to tear down the 6 apartments that were affected and now it will be 4-6 months.  It felt like my world crumbled all over again.  We are staying with my sister and brother-in-law whom I am very grateful for.  But, I don’t want to impose on them for that long.  We have a restoration company helping us with the items that can be salvaged.  They called me yesterday to inform me that everything was out of the apartment.  We went by there to make sure everything was out and to drop out the letter releasing the apartment.  It was hard for both Stephen and I to walk through that empty apartment.  It made it final that it was no longer home.  Home…..We have no home.

 

People keep asking what they can do or what we need right now.  It is hard to answer them for a couple of reasons.  The first being neither Stephen nor I are ones to ask for anything from anyone.  We don’t want to impose on anyone or seem ungrateful the offer of help.  The second being how do you say exactly what you need.  My main concern right now is to take care of JJ and Stephen and then myself last.  Stephen’s main concern is to take care of JJ and me and himself last.  We have lost a lot of our furniture, clothes, JJ’s toys, pictures and videos of JJ’s firsts and dedication that can’t be replaced, kitchen appliances, kitchen items, electronics, stuff for our bathrooms, linens.  The list could go on and on.  When people give you something you are grateful but don’t know what to say because thank you never seems enough at a time like this.

 

Okay, I know I am rambling on and on and I am probably not even making sense.  Please forgive me for this!  There is one more issue I want to address.  I want to be careful of how this is said.  I am very thankful for many of my co-workers and friends in The Salvation Army.  Many of you have been there for my family and have given what you can as well have given kind words that I have needed to hear.  But, there are those that you would think would at least ask how I am or my family is that haven’t said one word to me.  That really hurts that they haven’t even said one single word to me.  I guess this just shows who my friends truly are. 

 

To those of you that have called, e-mailed, and even stopped by my office to ask about my family and I…THANK YOU!!!!  For those of you that haven’t even had a kind word to say to me…..God loves you and so do I!

 

Until next time!   

Okay when I started this thing I said that I was going to write everyday.  Oh well!  Between work and home life I am lucky to get on the computer at all.  By the time I get home from work (where I spend all day starring at a computer) and cook dinner and spend time with JJ the last thing I want to do is get on a computer.  I can’t believe that it is July.  Well, actually it is the end of July so I guess I should be saying I can’t believe that August is here.  I am looking forward to August though because I get to see my parents again.  After this I won’t see them again until Christmas.  That seems so far away.  Too far away actually.  I miss having them around.  Not only for the help with babysitting but also I miss being with them and watching them interact with JJ.  Ever since we saw them last (July 4^th) JJ has been adamant that we are going to go and see Papa and Nana.  He states this every weekend.  We go see Papa and Nana today?  It breaks my heart to have to tell him no.  I know and understand how much he misses them because I feel the same.  Never take your family for granted!  Let your parents know how much they mean to you every day!  Until next time!   

I know, I know. It has been a while since I have posted something (thanks Chana!).  Things have been pretty busy this month and they don't seem to be slowing down anytime soon.  Work is going great.  I could not be happier!  We are leaving this Thursday morning to head up to my dad's Men's Fellowship Camp up in Virginia.  His theme for the weekend is Men of Faith - Forsaking All I Trust Him.  He is using Luke 23:46 as his scripture verse which states, "Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit."  Forsaking All I Trust Him....That is very hard to do at times.  Trust me I know!  I cannot tell you how many times I worry about what others are thinking or going to think about me after I do something.  Those are the times when I need to say, "Hey, I don't care what others think about me as long as Christ is happy with me."  It is really hard to do as I am one that wants to please everyone.  I slowly but surely learning that just isn't possible! 

 

Well, just my thoughts.  Take it or leave it!  Until next time...  

Yes, I know it has been a while since I last posted.  Almost, a month ago.  Things have been kind of hectic and crazy for me lately.  For those of you that know where I work and what I do this is starting the busiest time of the year for my job.  Christmas is not an easy time for me for many reasons.  As I said, it is a hectic time of year at work.  In addition, with my parents moving away this year I am finding it harder to even think about the holidays and the possibility of not being able to spend them with them.  Then I think about those that are near and dear to me that have left this life.  I remember the holidays that I spent with them and as I sit here typing this I cannot help but tear up thinking of each of them.  My family has a tradition that at Thanksgiving and Christmas we light a candle in honor of the loved ones that are far away in distance but not in our hearts and then we light a candle in memory of those that have left this earth. 

 

For those of you that know me very well you know that this is not my first marriage.  I was married to a man that I loved very much but who hurt me very deeply.  It has been a year since he was murdered.  It has been very hard on me.  Maybe it is because I never got the chance to tell him that I forgive him for what he put my family and me through.  Even though he hurt me, I still cared for him deeply.  He was my best friend even before we became anything else.  I still valued that friendship but never got the chance to let him know this.  I guess I say all of that to say this.  Do not let a moment go by being angry with someone, do not let a moment go by without telling them you forgive them, do not let a moment go by without telling them you care, do not let a moment go by without telling them you love them!  Because you never know when it will be your last day or their last day on this earth. 

 

I am done preaching for now.  Until next time my friends!  I love you!